AURA (BIO)FARMING
The infamous “Heat Game” between the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers took place during the 1984 NBA Finals, game five in “The Gaahden.” The parkay floor temperatures were said to have squelched upwards of 100 degrees. Lakers big man Kareem Abdul-Jabbar needed drags off an oxygen tank during timeouts. A referee nearly fainted in the first half from dehydration and a sweating, salty Magic Johnson was coming off the debacle of a Game 4 overtime loss that birthed the moniker, “Tragic” Johnson.
Notorious for his master level, psychological warfare tactics, Boston GM Red Auerbach was slandered to have deliberately manipulated the thermostat to gain a Celtic advantage, he later denied the accusation stating, “I had absolutely no control over anything in the Garden...I said to them, ‘Hey, I don’t blame you for complaining, because the half-a-court we play on is air-conditioned.’ I mean, how f—ing stupid can you be? It was the same for us.” Despite Red shrugging off liability for the scorching garden temps, the rumor mill gossip was fired up thanks in large part to Larry Bird’s post game statements; “I love to play in the heat...I just run faster and create my own wind,” adding speculation that Boston maybe expected the above normal temps on the court that night? Whether it was Red’s tactics or just a sweltering summer night in an old building, the lore was set, and as it were Bird went for 34 points, grabbed 17 rebounds, shooting 15-for-20 from the field, leading Boston to a 121-103 victory and a 3-2 series advantage. After dropping game six at the Forum, the Celtics would go on to win a gritty game seven back in the comfortable confines of their dilapidated, rocking old ramshackle; The Garden.
It’s June 2026, the same month the heat game tipped, and as the first hot spells of the year descend upon the Southwest signaling the tangible advent of summer, it’s good to know that heat stress, like Larry said, can be a superpower. How you say? Let’s start with heat shock proteins (HSP’s). These biological marvels of the human cellular system are responsible for chaperoning and saving misfolded proteins that if left unregulated aggregate into eventual problems. Their accumulation is the primary pathological hallmark of numerous progressive human conditions, including cancer and Alzheimer’s. Humans can activate HSP’s by exposure to heat stress; i.e. high intensity workouts in a heated environment. Then there’s the extraordinary neuropeptide, dynorphin. Activated by intense heat stress, this piece of our endogenous opioid system works as a hormetic rebound response that enhances the feeling of euphoria found in its sibling-opioid, endorphin. It is further responsible for feelings of bliss by increasing sensitivity of dopamine receptors. But back to Bird’s comment, because like in a sauna or hot yoga, when you hoop in a heated environment the body can quickly adapt. With increased blood flow and cardiovascular dilation delivering oxygen to muscles, tissues and tendons at a 3-5 times faster pace, players often report having some of their strongest “out the gate” athletic performances. So with a looming heat index scorching to the nineties and the long summer days of the solstice spicing up the season, remember, this is your opportunity to enhance your game, increase your dopamine, refold your proteins and hoop like Larry Legend in game five. Don’t be tragic, believe in magic, and science.
Weekly Recap:
Seven games on our summer League slate starting with the Degenerates finding the back up generator and continuing their powerful winning ways with a 68-57 win over the candy cane colored suit wearing Lottabuckets. Anthony Armijo was pulling cord as he cranked the energy up with 17 pts, 8 rebs and 4 dimes to pace the de-generators, while “Super” Mario Archuleta lived at the line and made ‘em count for 11-13 and 21 pts. For our southwest top hat touting combo getters, Isaac Shanley got his to go order in, with 29 pts and 15 rebs before they closed as Smyther Hsiao kept the cooks in line with 3 assists and some seamless passing.
Team Nuevo was seemingly unfazed by the current June Heatwave as they were chaperoning misfolded protein balls all night for a 78-66 dub. Nuevo player Gabe Trujillo showed out on his first game in the League with a dominate 28 pts, 14 rebs and 2 dime effort. Dom Baca paced the perimeter with 25 pts and 5 dimes. The crashing Heatwave was survived by the surge of Fjay Ortiz with 22 pts, 7 rebs, 7 assists and 2 thefts and Jeremiah "Reezy" Jacquez's 10 pt, 14 reb, 4 friendly night, but the tide swung in the end.
A flash Mob descended on Desert Sage Academy Tuesday night at 8 o'clock, surprising the Killer Bees and their peaceful pollinating ways with sick synchronized game play from Matt Jackson's near flawless double double of 18 pts, 14 rebs and team high 4 friendlies. "Yours Truly" was in sync with the big man and benefited with some easy lays to pad a 26 pts, 13 reb, 3 dime night. Dual Killer Bees almost out dueled the Mob as the Lovato's buzzed hard with PJ's 18/19/4 and Antonio's 20 ball almost landing the killer sting.
The nine o'clock game is sometimes a toss up and we saw a tired Zia "E-Sleep" succumb to at an acronym as IPS trounced the state emblem, 94-65 behind 29 pts and 14 REBS from Alex Gutierrez and 22 Gabriel Serrano PTS. For the fours, Gio Nuñez woke up and got a team high 19 while Enrique Gurule was an eastern sunrise extending into all facets of the contest with 11 pts, 10 rebs, 3 assists and 2 swipes.
Tipping off our second night we got Santa Fe Style wind chiming in on The Standard's clutch game and it turned out to be a burner with those urban cowboy boots and jeans sprinkling turquoise to capture a 90-85 win. Big and Bigger starring Chano Herrera's 35/7/3 and Oliver "Oli" Fell's supporting work with 19/12/2 took center stage as Kody Garcia roamed the wings to the tune of a 30 ball. For the pedal drivers Bryan Enriquez's 31 pts and 9 rebs eventually ran out of gas, even with high octane play from Emmanuel Gutierrez and his 11pt 13 reb double double.
How do you guys get those cheddar balls so cheddar-y, one might wonder if they were watching the seven o'clock contest, with Medium Kings hoisting 44 kingmakers only to pale in comparison to Team "Ain't Nothing" Nuevo's 20-65 three point shooting efforts. Dom Baca was all orange finger tips with 35 pts, 14 rebs, 3 dimes and eleven trey monies. Everyone ate with 113 points scored by the likes of Phil Montaño's 25 pts, Matt Brito's 23 and 12 and Josh Salazar's 27 daggers. The Mid-level Royalty could only dodge stabs for so long before being out dueled but valiantly led by Dedrick Johnson and his 30 strong with 12 rebs while Stephen Trujillo chipped in, commanding his own Cheetos brand touch from deep and ending with 21 pts. Nuevo 113, Kings 100.
Closing out the slate we were gifted an Optimus Prime Time sighting as they transfored and disassembled the Goon Squad 63-45 with lock down defense, 18 pts, 18 rebs and 3 dimes from Kamron Tiedeman. Kareem Masibuwa was another autobot out there as he "choo choo ceech choo chehed" into 19 pts, 12 rebs, and 2/2/2. For the Goon-ies Andres Lovato led like "Mikey" with a solid 16 pts, 13 rebs and 2 thefts but the rest of the gang looked lost at sea.
Respect the game, Santa Fe Swish
