JESUS DIAMONDS AND A LIMINAL PIRATE
I love movies. I love basketball. So naturally, I love movies about basketball. But do I love basketball players in movies?
With the popularity of the beloved ball sport rising in our culture, over the years a select few players have crossed over into the world of film and coveted major acting roles. Ray Allen, starring in Spike Lee’s He Got Game jumps out immediately as a shining example of this crossover. Alongside Denzel Washington, John Tuturro and Milla Jovovich, Allen played the role of Jesus Shuttlesworth, a top highschool basketball prodigy navigating the vicious recruiting waters of college suitors with an estranged father. Spike challenged Ray-Ray to carry some major screen time and dramatic line delivery in a blockbuster movie covering serious themes. Sweet Ray’s performance and the film’s status stand out in my mind as a break away from the typical silly, corny and simple basketball themed films we get with the likes of Space Jam, Blue Chips or Uncle Drew, where players star in mediocre roles in mediocre films. These players turned actors aren’t usually knocking down the Oscar door with their performances but as a fan it’s still fun to see them flounder like a fish out of water on the big screen.
Adam Sandler is well known for his love of basketball and through his company, Happy Madison Productions set the new standard for players in film with 2022’s Hustle as he starred opposite a gamut of NBA talent including superstar Anthony Edwards, who did a fair job as the snarky, trash talking antagonist Kermit Wilts. But it was the Safdie brother’s full throttle thrill ride, Uncut Gems where we not only got prime Sandler, but an intense performance from Kevin Garnett playing himself in this dark portrayal of New York’s fickle diamond district and compulsive sports gambling scene where everything’s for sale and nothing is sacred. It’s not just that both KG and Ray are former Celtics, though that never hurts, but they were the entire short list of players I loved watching in great movies. That is until recently when a new, unknown former professional basketball player starred in one of the most exciting films to come out in years, Backrooms. It’s a mind bending horror from twenty year old director Kane Parsons that rocked the film world upon its release early this summer and still has me talking about and recommending it to everyone who asks.
Robert Bobroczkyi is a remarkable spectacle of a human. Standing 7’ 7” this former Romanian pro basketball player has a unique set of physical characteristics that fit grotesquely well for the horror genre. I remember seeing highlights of this dude when he was a stiff, awkward, somewhat oddly shaped 7 ft, twelve year old swatting and dunking on every skinny, five foot white kid he came across. He has a long neck and a small head set on wide shoulders and a torso too long to belong to a human. Back then there were talks that Bobroczkyi was gonna be the next NBA star but alas, the coordination required to keep up with superb athletes and further his basketball dreams never quite found him. What did find him is the hollywood horror scene. As “The Offspring” creature in Alien: Romulus, Bobroczkyi’s physical oddities melded onto the screen to give horrifying silent life to an infant alien monster growing unnaturally fast due to a black goo mutagen the mother injects herself with while pregnant. No further spoilers in case you haven’t seen it, but this breakout role in the horror game led to his casting in Backrooms, where his uncanny height, misshapen look and unworldly movement patterns allowed him to perfectly portray one of the more terrifying monsters in film history as the Pirate Clark, with the backdrop of liminal space magnifying the terror on film.
The Backroom’s setting looks like it smells like cigarettes. Like a space you knew from another life but will never know again. With its never ending patinated yellow wallpapered hallways defining empty rooms lit by flickering fluorescent bulbs alive with the occasional haunting sound, this liminal space reminds the viewer of a time you once knew but would like to forget and acts as a killer supporting role in this psychological horror. We come across these unsettling thresholds of space and time when we stumble into an unfinished empty construction site or when we find ourselves as the only passenger on a late night commuter train. Maybe you’ve been unable to sleep while staying at a hotel and wandered into a quiet, empty lobby that holds uncomfortable energy that fades in the presence of sound and commerce but when alone ushers in feelings of fear. These are liminal ‘threshold’ environments caught between states of use and disuse, presence and absence. They are not inherently supernatural, yet they feel unsettling because they are stripped of their current expected function. What makes Backrooms so brilliant is the combination of Parson’s masterful use of liminal space juxtaposed against an uncentered world where our seven foot seven inch villain openly roams with terrifying silence and an ending you have to see to believe.
Weekly Recap:
Eight runs on the slate this week as we close out our regular season starting with a deprived Degenerate squad that was clearly deteriorating in the face of the Killer Bee’s potent venomous sting. Leading the attack was Derrick Carls with a worker bee efficiency gathering a team high 24pts and Big bee PJ Lovato bullying his buzz with 16pts, 13rebs and 6 dimes. For the dilapidated ones Mario Archuleta managed a game high 33pts on a deplorable 7-23 shooting clip. Killer Bees 84, Degenerates 55.
The offensive game of the season broke out at 7pm as two heavyweights decided to forgo defense and wail on each other from the perimeter posting 233 combined points. For Team Nuevo it was Dom Baca going certified fresh with a 50 ball and 12rebs. Phil Montaño put up a contemporary 20 piece, Josh Salazar sizzled with a novel 24pts while Matt Brito portrayed a modern, state-of-the-art 22pts and 14rebs. But the big story came from the grill as Blakes Lottabuckets and Isaac Shanley served up the league’s first 70pt performance to complement 19rebs, 2 assists and 2 thefts. Shane “The Sheriff” Shariff flashed some badge and some brilliance in the loss with 12pts and 7rebs on a perfect 6-6 from the field. Team Nuevo 127, Blakes Lottabuckets 106.
505 Unit continued their perfect season as they controlled the court and the phone lines dialling in an 87-74 dub against an aging Mob. Juan Ortiz was operator superior as he connected friends, family and anyone else wanting to get served, scorching the boxscore with 42pts and 7rebs while Lukas Turner was a walking kilowatt with 29pts. For the disjointed Mobsters they did get tommy gun energy from Matt “Action” Jackson as he sprayed the scene with 27pts and 27rebs but the only other henchman to do damage was Dom Roybal with 22pts as the rest of the Mob got locked up in the Unit’s jail cell.
Great game to close out night one as Silent Storm was back and brought the thunder behind Jordan Kemp’s 28pts and 8rebs. Super sub Manny Chavez quietly drizzled 15pts and 8rebs as Jessie Woosley controlled the lightning struck sand turned glass with 10rebs and 9pts. Zia Elite’s coach, captain and sharp shooter Oscar Nuñez led the four sacred obligations to the tune of 19pts and Chava Chacon shone like a zia sun ray with 12pts in the defeat 61-64.
The pueblo dwellers and their elite aerial attack were back to kick off Wednesday but their outcome was the same as the night before as they dropped another close one to Optimus Prime Time 74-87. Anthony Salcido was the top autobot scoring a shape shifting 36pts and 7rebs while sidekick Kamron Tiedeman went Bumblebee mode with 23pts, 14rebs and 4 dimes. Elijah Rodriguez was fullfing his circle of life like a pueblo medicine man as he led the Elite on 24pts, 3rebs, 3 dimes and 4 thefts to keep the game close. Santi Bencomo and Oscar Nuñez each provided a sacred obligation with 18pts.
The Goonies tied up Josh Brolin and got up to their shenanigans of treasure hunting and trouble making as they took down the Silent Storm 61-56 in a thriller. Battling back from a double digit deficit to steal the game behind 23 Izaya Valencia points on top of 7 dimes and 4 thefts. Jaylen Lovato was serving buckets and insults like Mouth with 17pts and 6rebs. For the shushed rainmakers Jessie Woosley was controlling the skies with 11pts, 18rebs and 4 dimes and Manny Chavez filled in again and thundered home a 20 ball in the L.
All the man boobs were supported for Dad Bods as each of the five starters gave entree energy and cleaned their plates led by Jordan Duda’s 29pts. Adam Montoya let it all hang out over his hemp belt and cargo khakis with 22pts, 12reb, 5 dimes and 3 thefts while Steven Cordova rocked some non-sculpted appendages and a beer gut to attain his double double of 13 and 11. The Standard had transmission failure but not before Carlos “Los” Quintana shifted into gear with 29pts. Bryan Enriquez was a well built clutch assembly as he engaged the fly wheel with 17pts in the loss.
In our last game of the regular season we saw the undefeated 505 Unit finally fall into a caloric deficit as they couldn’t convert the 1 Newton over the distance of 1 meter to harness the energy unit of Joule. The shocking loss came at the hands of those sweltering, torrid, dog days of summer lovers Heatwave and their totally tubular, lava surfing captain Martin Gracia and his team high 24pts. Julian Gutierrez was on a hot spell as he went nuclear for 23pts and Jonathan Ealey was a swell of boiling sea water with 18. For those Santa Fean Kilowatts Steven Lovato was a force of Joules moving at the speed of light as he fueled the power plant with 38pts and 13rebs but it wasn’t enough output to power the unblemished record on this night.
Respect the game, Santa Fe Swish
