A QUARTER A CALL
Can you believe there used to be a time in our world of communication when if I was out of the house and needed to make a call I would stand in an enclosed cubicle, deposit a quarter into a community phone before dialing a number I had just looked up in a phone book hanging from an anchor chain attached to a metal shelf, to call an individual or business I needed to reach? This enclosure would normally sport a trifold door and a healthy stench of urban shenanigans. The walls were plexiglass windows from floor to ceiling, minus a few strategically placed privacy walls through the middle section that doubled as shameless advertising space. Spray painted tags and graffiti often added that über urban flare to the cold aluminum framework these sanctuaries for conversation provided. During the golden age on the posh streets of London you could nestle into a more demure cubicle that found their exterior painted red for higher visibility through the famous London fog. The picturesque red framing took on an almost quaint, pane glass from your home feel. Less graffiti. Clean, white paint signing above, “TELEPHONE.” The tagged up versions from the city usually just read “PHONE.” The indispensable, global lifeline that was the phone booth had arrived.
The phone booth had an indelible impact on culture that included mild mannered Clark Kent finding these booths so readily available in his fictional urban city of camouflage; Metropolis, Illinois, that he made them his go to transformation space in a pinch as he transfigured into the hero Superman, Man Of Steel. No you Gen Z hoop heads, it’s not Shaquille O’Neal. It was Clark “Mild Mannered” Kent, from Smallville, Kansas who was the original “Man Of Steel,” and he was into phone booths. That’s cool.
You know what else is cool? Being able to get buckets on anybody, anytime, in minimal space. Paul George has been one of the NBA’s premier perimeter defenders for the better part of his 16 year career. While rehabilitating a knee injury during the 2023 season with fresh perspective and time on his hands, he did lament on his podcast who he considered the most difficult players to defend. The 4 time All Defensive forward named Carmelo Anthony as one of the toughest ever. Stating, “Melo was so good he could get his shot off in a phone booth.” The term “phone booth scorer” was born. This title is reserved mainly for ballers who have mastered the middy. Who live between that limited space of 8-to-18 ft from the basket. A ten foot radial dimension where some thrive and others drown. The shallow post. The short wing. The island.
The skill set to square up your opponent, hit them with any number of jab steps, shot fakes or pass fakes without moving a pivot foot, just to rise up and stick a jumper in their face. It’s a skill reserved for the OG’s of the game, the veterans who may have lost that quick first step but gained the IQ to calculate balance, space, energy and size. A traditional phone booth scorer is usually above average in height, they have a feathery touch and a high release point. The fade-a-way is part of their arsenal and their eyes never lock onto a single tangible option. It’s an ability to freeze the defender in place while everything is moving at game speed. Think Dirk, Bird, Kobe and Duncan. Allen Iverson is considered one of the best phone booth scorers of all time, with an innate IQ and first step so quick that he adopted the shot out of pure instinct once he realized the terror he invoked from his speed could harness this high percentage, energy efficient scoring option with the hapless defender back on their heels. Rise up and stick a jumper. Simple, but hard. Hard in the sense that you need calm in the arena of chaos. Hard in the sense that you need the confidence and the green light that only comes from years of honing a jumper so pure that the defense sends two just to stop you.
I find as the years keep ticking by and the game evolves much like our forms of communication have, there is still room for honoring the simple. A physical space and time delegated to phone use. An isolation play where we merely rise up and shoot. A realization that all energy matters and all matter is energy. That sometimes saving energy matters and the systemic un-mattering of life could be solved by just having a pure jump shot and a calm in the face of chaos. Being mellow. Maybe next time we feel the need to be heard we channel Melo and slow down, phone a friend instead of a text, remembering that the speed of technology does not determine success but success is only the byproduct of every iteration that energy has provided.
Be Superman, be Melo. Don’t be Shaq, he had no jump shot.
Weekly Recap: Week 5; Season 9
The League
A degenerative offense was only able to create 60 points as it withered away a game to the swarming stings of the African honey bee. Antonio “Tone Loc” Lovato was straight buzzin’ for the Killer Bees, with 7 steals on defense to frame up an efficient 23 pt, 5 reb and 2 dime game. The least debaucherous of the Degenerates was Josh “Juke You” DeHerrera with 16 pts, 6 rebs, 5 assists and 2 steals. Final score, Killer Bees 73, Degenerates (deplorable).
The heat was on despite a slightly tangential attempt to cool the situation as Heatwave smoked Team Irrelevant, 81-63 Tuesday night behind some super sick surfing from Julian “Juice” Gutierrez and his 26 pts, 5 rebs, 2 dimes and 3 thefts. The unrelated did get some a of relevance from Chase “The Icon” Stafford with 20 pts, a board, an assist and 4 steals to help quell the heat spell, but in the end it was a sweaty set of tubular swells that prevailed.
Some pretty sick fatherly physiques were on display between Team Nuevo and Dad Bods as those maestros of the 12oz curls used a 68-32 second half to crush a cold one and a big dub 116-82. The papa with the phatest bod was Alex “Long Hair Don’t Care” Gutierrez as he grew his stat line to 36 pts, 7 rebs and a dime. For the new and unique ones Gabe “True” Trujillo got current with his skill set and produced 21 pts, 8 rebs, 5 assists and 2 steals in the L.
A hush of clouds moved over the Desert Sage Academy gymnasium Tuesday night as storms threatened to rain out a gathering of basketball players but after a stout first half effort from the mass of cohorts the storm never gained enough momentum to usher in moisture and dried up, 79-95. The amassed ones got solid amassing from Dom “Innate” Roybal with 23 pts, 7 rebs and 5 dimes. The shushed rainmakers did get a drizzle from Shawn “Of The Dead” Daniels and his 25 pts, 4 rebs, 3 assists and 4 steals but not enough as Silent Storm dropped another loss to the Mob.
Game of the season, so far, threw down at 9pm as one team proved you can caffeinate late into the night and still reap extreme benefits, like a 95-89 dub over your rival peers. Great coffee orders all around the court but none more than Lukas “Caffé Latte” Turner with a stat line of 31 pts, 8 rebs and 2 dimes to lead Bev’s Ballers over Santa Fe Style. The adobe walls of doom did get a massive smearing of stats from Chano “The Chief” Herrera’s 30 pt, 8 board, 3 ‘Tumbos and a swipe, but to much sand in the mix didn’t allow this wall to stand up to the green tea and caffeine.
The Other League
The wooden spoon favorites remained at the bottom of the food chain as they succumbed to Robert Pattinson and his movie magic. The star of this movie night was Ruben “Hot Salsa” Salas as he racked up 24 pts, 12 rebs, 5 dimes and 3 thefts, double dipping his chip to lead Prime Time over Nothing But Net, 79-60. For the net worshippers, Martin “Smalls” Ortiz played big with 26 pts, 3 rebs, 4 assists and 3 steals in the defeat.
Some unified units of New Mexico managed to overcome the sacred reverence for the pueblo gods Wednesday night as they used every component in their arsenal to squeak out a win 105-92 over the sun gods elite force. The entity with the highest output was Angel “Wings” Parra as he soared to the tune of 26 pts, 18 rebs, 11 dimes and 4 thefts to capture the rare triple double. The four sided horseman of the apocalypse received a 43 pt, 11 reb, 3 assist blessing from Oscar “The Deity” Nuñez but it wasn’t enough as Zia Elite picked up an L and watched 505 Unit notch one in the win column.
The drippiness of discounts were on display for the 7pm contest as the royal workers of the rim couldn’t quite contain the shopping spree, as Temu Drip bought the dub 75-62 over Rim Job Kings. Isaiah “Slim” Fairchild found the drip as he connected his credit card to the app for 20 pts, 4 boards, 7 dimes and 2 thefts to help purchase the win. Buckets were a rarity for those tongue wagging kinks of the throne, but Anthony “Sharp Shooting” Salcido did manage to find the hole for 26 pts in the loss.
An aroma of cooked beef was wafting through the gym as The Standard shifted into high gear to sear Blakes Lottabuckets buns into next week with a decisive 87-63 twamping. In the drivers seat was Bryan “It’ll Be Alright” Enriquez and his high octane 33 pt, 8 reb, 2 dime and 1 steal performance to keep the bar high and The Standard on top of the division. Chase “The Icon” Stafford was once again a grill on fire as he scorched the nets with 25 pts but didn’t get enough support on the line to steal a victory.
Once a solution is solved the integration of that project is no longer needed as Pick Up Legends proved when they methodically made the problem of an acronym gather another loss, 67-75 over IPS. The most legendary performance of the night came from Owen “Oh No You Didn’t” Henkel with an absurdly efficient double double line of 10 pts (5-6FG), 10 rebs, a dime, a steal and a ‘Tumbo to be the difference in a tough, close game. The acronymic integrators got their own double down from Jordan “The Dude” Duda and his 23 pts, 11 rebs plus an assist and a steal but it wasn’t quite enough to take down the legends on this night.
35+ League
Some original gangsters of the north came up against some absolute units of dialing phone numbers area code first and it wasn’t pretty, as 505 Unit twamped the OG’s 81-60 behind some stellar team play and a hyper efficient game from Jake “Hey Man” Hayman and his 16 pts (5-7FG), 6 rebs and a theft. For those old school, low ridin’, pioneers of bandana colors and dark shades was Yordy “The Yodeler” Soto carrying a fully loaded ‘cuete’ of 23 pts, 10 rebs, an assist and 3 steals in this turf war loss.
Technical difficulties led to a lack of stats for the contest between our veterans of the hardwood and hard-knocks, using a slightly-illegal approach taught through the years of 5-on-5 to overcome some of Santa Fe’s most legit socialites of premier elegance and extravaganza. The gentry of the north couldn’t quite get around those hook screens, subtle pushes and other old school tricks as their nobility got knocked down a notch and their record took another loss 63-78 to Los Vets, Sorry for the stats Santa Fe Elite.
When the sacredness of pueblo gods comes up against a mob it’s usually gonna be a righteous contest but not this night as the mass of ballers combined their powers that be to crush the harmonious cycles of the natural universe, 92-58 behind EJ “Ill Jumper” Lucero and this 27 pts (6-8 3PTS), 3 rebs, a dime and a theft. For our Sun worshipping pueblo residers, Matt “Pass It To Me Even Though I’m Not On Your Fuckin’ Team” Valdez had 19 pts and 2 assists to lead his fray.
We ended the week with a thumping that will be felt for months to come as the integrators of solutions projected nothing short of diesel fuel going full inferno on the rim missers, 127-66. Everyone of the fusing corrections were munching this game but none more than David “Donovan Mitchell” Jaramillo with 37 pts (12-21 3PTS), 9 boards, 7 dimes and a theft. As for the nothing but webs, despite the dismal display of defense Julio “Dizzy” Rascon got a 30 ball with 8 rebs, 4 assists, a steal and 2 blocks to make it somewhat tolerable. IPS over Nothing But Net, big.
Respect the game, Santa Fe Swish
